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The Border Wall

Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.

Politics Defined by Example

A Russian Jew named Jacob was finally allowed to emigrate to Israel. At the Moscow airport, a customs inspector found a statue of Lenin in his luggage and asked, "What is this?" Jacob replied, "Wrong question, comrade. You should have asked, 'Who is this?' This is Comrade Lenin. He laid the foundations of Socialism and created the future prosperity of the Russian people. I am taking it with me as a memory of our dear hero." The Russian customs official sent him on his way.

At Tel Aviv airport, the Israeli customs official also asked, "What is this? Jacob replied "Wrong question, sir. You should be asking 'Who is this?' This, my friend, is Lenin, the bastard who caused me, a Jew, to leave Russia. I take this statue as a reminder to curse him every day." The Israeli official sent him on his way.

When he settled in his new home, Jacob placed the statue on a table. The following evening, he invited friends and relatives to dinner. Spotting the statue, one of his cousins asked, "Who is this?" Jacob replied, "Wrong question. You should have asked, 'What is this?' This is five kilograms of solid gold that I managed to bring with me from Russia without having to pay any customs duty or tax."

The Moral: Politics is when you spin the exact same stuff multiple different ways in order to fool different people and yet can still manage to come out smelling like a rose to all of them.