In a shoe repair store in Vancouver: "We will heel you; We will save your sole; We will even dye for you."
Over a Gynaecologist’s Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank Heaven for little grills."
In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"